My unbe-sleeve-able journey

 May 5th was the big day.  I spent the night before crying and wondering if I was making the right decision.  We hit the surgery center about 8:30 and I was wheeled back by 10:30.  The next thing I remember was the intense pain just under my breast bone. The nurses said "everyone has buyers remorse at this point."   I got up and walked and slept.  Ate ice chips, walked again and slept some more.   They gave me dilaudid for pain, which I am fairly certain made things worse.  I can't handle that level of pain medicine.   Then they pumped me full of IV fluids that contained dextrose, so my blood sugar was 245.  They gave me an insulin shot and switched the IV fluids to something else.  They monitored overnight and it wasn't back to a normal until late morning the following day.   Once the dilaudid wore off, and the blood sugar was down, I felt fine.  Pain level at a 2-3.   May 6th in addition to ...

 So my doctor only required 1 week of clear liquids prior to surgery.  THANK GOD.  This is HARD!!   Surgery is May 5th so I didn't "have to" start the liquid diet until 4/28. I started on 4/26 to try and jump start the weight loss/liver shrinkage.   This week was hard!  Miserable!  I almost threw in the towel several times.  I occasionally at a cheese stick or slice of lunch meat.  Friday I actually caved and had a McDonald's cheeseburger - no fries but I did fall off the wagon.   I have a photography business on the side.  Saturday I had a photoshoot.  I swear y'all I almost passed out.  I came home and slept for 3 hours.   Tomorrow 5/2/2021 I get my COVID test before surgery.  I am in the home stretch but it SUCKS.  I cry almost daily.  I am bitchy as hell and I am in a constant state of brain fog.  I am slow to process and often confused.   However, I did lose 6 pou...

So here I am 5ft 3in and 280 pounds.  How the F*$K did that happen.   I wasn't a fat kid or adult until about 8 - 10 years ago when I stopped smoking.  I guess I replaced the nicotine addiction for a food addition.   So you can see by these pictures, even after 3 kids I was still healthy and average size.  1994/1996/1998 were the years I gave birth.  Even through that, I had no issues keeping my weight down.  Sure my metabolism slowed as I got older and I probably would have been fine with gaining 5 pounds ever year or two from that.  Instead over the last 8 - 10 years I have gained 120 - 140 pounds.  Around 2017 I started taking phentermine and stuck to a strict 1200 calorie a day diet, walked at least 10,000 steps a day, gave up soda and made sure to drink lots of water.  I lost 30 pounds over a few months. Then phentermine stops working and we went on vacation to Hawaii.  I slacked off on vacation and  I never got ...