One month update

One month from when I started the liquid diet, not a month from surgery.  

So my original plan was to post weekly and give updates about weight and measurements and all that jazz.  Well it was all too much.  This whole process is WAY more mental than it is physical. 

I've learned that even when I am physically full, my brain still tells me that I am still hungry.  Sadly I am still trying to navigate "bored" and "hungry."  Just because they made my stomach smaller, it doesn't change the mental side of my relationship with food.  Bored? Eat.  Sad?  Eat.  Happy? Eat.  It's a cycle I am actively working on.  

Another "issue" is that we didn't make note of where on my arms/legs that I was measuring - so although I think I have lost inches on both, I can't confirm.  :) 

So far, a month in, I am still not sure I made the right choice.  I am struggling with wanting to eat things I can't.  I am struggling with being mentally "hungry" even when my pouch is full.  There are people who have this surgery and don't feel hungry, I am NOT one of those people.  I've moved faster through the weekly phases faster than the outlined by my doctor.  Luckily I haven't had any issues with food or drinking.  I am struggling to get ALL OF THE vitamins in daily.  I am pretty sure I haven't taken all of them even once.  So I ordered another vitamin that is supposed to allow me 4 chewables to replace the 6 or so vitamins I am supposed to take daily.  

I've eaten too much and "thrown up." It wasn't like you are thinking.  Not like when you are sick.  It's literally this weird thing people refer to as "foamies."  You throw up a ball of foam/phlegm.  (sorry for the gross).  I have been very lucky to not feel dizzy or nauseous.  I can drink pretty much the way I did before surgery (no guzzling) and haven't eaten anything that caused me to feel bad.  (only if I eat too much then it hurts until I can throw up the "foamies.") 

If you asked me right now at one month out from when I started the pre-op liquid diet, if I could go back in time would I do this again?  Right now, the answer is no.   This is HARD and I clearly wasn't as mentally prepared as I thought I was.  

I imagine this outlook will change as the weight comes off.  I can tell my swelling is down significantly and I can do many things I could not do before.  Walking is easier and clothes are fitting differently.  So I think there will be light at the end of the tunnel, but right now it's hard to see.  

Here are the monthly before and after pictures.  Yes, I think it's noticeable when you look at the before and after pics, I still don't think it's noticeable when you see me in person *YET*  

 I plan to only update once a month.  I am trying to not look at the scale daily so that when things stall I am not overly focused on that number.  My month from surgery is 6/5, but since I started my journey right before the liquid diet, I am using the 23rd of the month (or close) as my measuring stick.  

So I will see you all 6/24 - hopefully down another 20 pounds!!